For years I went along trying to figure it all out. It was my quest for meaning in life, my journey to find identity. Along the way I began to find pieces of myself, each a symbolic totem, an embodiment of a very impactful experience. These gave me my power, and built up the structure of the person I was, helping me overcome my trauma. I was fueled by this process, and too much so. I kept on collecting these powerful experiences, which, I don’t see as a bad thing, having these experiences, I believe it’s inevitable actually. The fact was I was holding on to these them as to avoid my small and broken soul, incapable of accepting my pain and the eternal nothingness that I truly was. Eventually the ego I had built myself grew much to big, I had collected too many experiences and what once gave me strength began to weigh me down, I let myself go till the point of exhaustion. I could no longer hold up this structure, I had put myself in check mate. I collapsed and let go of all the weight, walking away, and leaving it behind. There will be no answers if you don’t ask questions, but once you ask the question, there is no turning back, you have embarked on a journey deeper into life. I would have never been able to let this weight go, if I had never collected it in the first place. So in a way, I thank the fool in me, for teaching me everything I know.